Can psychological counselling help?

Published in European Business Daily on November 24, 2017

(This article is has been translated from Chinese)

On April 27, 2017, British newspapers and various media outlets simultaneously reported a surprising piece of news: Prince Harry had visited a psychological counselling centre. This action by Prince Harry shattered the previously aloof image of the royal family and raised public awareness of the importance of psychological counselling and therapy. Government departments not only strengthened their focus on various aspects of public mental health but also planned to allocate more resources to psychological counselling for children and adolescents. These strengthened actions demonstrate the importance of psychological counselling in contemporary society.

The UK was founded on a humanistic foundation, respecting the uniqueness of each individual. With care and inclusivity as its guiding principles, its mental health counselling has long been thriving. A 2016 survey showed that one in four adults has some degree of mental health issue. This statistic is undoubtedly alarming; however, this phenomenon seems to be an international trend, with an increasing number of people worldwide experiencing mental health issues.

In an interview with the Daily Mail, Prince Harry explained that he sought psychological counselling because he had shut himself off emotionally for two decades after the sudden loss of his mother (Princess Diana) when he was 12. Coupled with the utter chaos he had experienced in various aspects of life over the past two years, this finally led him to make this decision. He said, "My approach was to bury my head in the sand like an ostrich and refuse to think about my mother; thinking, what good would that do?" Does this negative feeling seem familiar to you, readers?

Emotional channels need to be cleared, otherwise they will form knots in our hearts, affecting our way of thinking and acting. It's like a clogged water pipe that needs unblocking. These problems, formed for various reasons, are like blockages in the pipes; if not removed, they will accumulate until the pipes are completely blocked. Because of various negative experiences in life, such as being misunderstood, bullied, rejected, threatened, or abused; or experiencing the pain of separation or death, we naturally have different emotional reactions. If these emotions of joy, anger, sorrow, fear, etc., become excessive or linger for too long, they will have negative effects and should be addressed.

Many people wonder how psychological counselling can help them overcome personal difficulties. Everyone is unique, and everyone copes with difficulties and challenges differently. Some people may have tried psychological counselling before but found it ineffective; I suggest you try again and don't give up too soon. Sometimes psychological counselling takes time. It's quite common for Westerners to undergo psychological counselling for several years, while we Chinese generally focus more on symptom improvement and have less patience for fundamental change, so the time frame is relatively shorter. The length of time is not the key point; what's important is to see a change. Sometimes change can happen after a short period of counselling, so don't give up easily and force yourself to face your difficulties, because this often makes you feel even more lonely and hopeless.

This also relates to your relationship with your therapist. Psychological counselling emphasises confidentiality; you must feel safe and comfortable, and completely trust your therapist before you can confide your difficulties. Therefore, if you've tried before without success, it may be because you haven't found the right therapist. Successful psychological counselling should provide you with methods to understand yourself, help you cope with the discomfort of the transition period, and assist you in developing new coping mechanisms. It should help you alleviate distress and learn how to treat yourself kindly, thus leading to change. The client's mindset is crucial in this process. Are you genuinely committed to solving your problems? Are you sincerely seeking help? Sincerity is often the key to seeing results; the effectiveness of psychological counselling is built on a good therapeutic relationship, and sincerity is the foundation for building a good therapeutic relationship—a process that requires investment from both parties.